MEN AS JERKS and the women who create them

On a recent list posting a list of the
ways men are, humor about “men.”

I laugh about those puns about men
case there is always some element of reality
in the Laughing At men's idiosyncrasies.
But another part of me says, women
cannot take that kind of kidding from us men,
NO Way. Their sensitivities would be outraged.
Any man who talks about
"how women are"
is certainly a
male
chauvinist
pig–
His stereotyping of women
is proof positive. No doubt at all!

Now if this gender conversation
is not a 2 ways street and we men
cannot make fun of the peculiarities of women
and the funny, etc outrageous way some women
behave, without appearing to insult the whole lot,
then... what is really going on?

We all need occasional humor to cope with this
chaotic & crazy world. But do we have to do it
at the expense of one another?
I strongly dislike comics
who try to be funny at the expense of fat people, etc
or any steretype.
Really rubs me.
To laugh at ourselves gently with each other
about our peculiarities in an intimate relationship
is one thing. To pass on stereotypes FWD is,
I propose, another, entirely.

No man can understand what it is like to be a woman today.
Right? But Vice Versa also. . . ..
That is part of the spice of life and the mystery.
Part of me wants to laugh, but part of me says “No way
would the shoe fit the other foot.
Dagwood
and his kin must be the bumblers.
Never Daisy.

Part of me, when I hear that stuff wants to shout
"Hey!" That may be funny to some, but it also
keeps us from being open to and embracing the
otherness of the other, how incredibly different
we are, amusing different, stunningly different,
but also attractively and "grace-fully" different.

Who taught men to be the way men are?
Their mothers.
Who insists that they continue to be that way?
Their mothers, wives, girl friends, and daughters.
Women.

Because it is the macho kind of jerk who still
turns on most women, not the gentleman
who opens the door for one of them.

The coeds in my college classes admitted freely
it was not the nice guys that they were attracted to.
They were "too easy." It was the guys who
were disdainful, arrogant, full of themselves, etc.
who were the greatest turn-ons. They alone were
the challenges to their female charms, Not the kind
thoughtful types 'cause "They were too easy."
Much agreement among the women on this point.
even if some of it was reluctant agreement. Then, guess what
they gripe to all the nice guys who will listen about
what jerks the guys they are dating really are!
Funneee! And Guess what?
The Nice Guys LISTEN
(and thereby dig their grave, --relationship wise--
because it is NOT the nice
guys that most women go after...)
Irony.

We each and every one of live in the world we
ourselves create. Guess who is creating those kind
of guys, shaping them by what they reinfornce and
reward? Women.

Ladies, let me say it, and risk
all kinds of ... flack.
Most of you get what you deserve
in men.
(men get what they deserve too)

because it is your gender
who shapes the little boy
(reinforcing male identity)
from the beginning far more,
typicaly, than
does any father.
Mother alone is Goddess of the Nursery, even
in the two career marriage today.
Yes, Men are a whole lot different than
they were 40-50 years ago. Because
after the work ethic necessary merely
to survive in the 30s and 40s.
we saw that it was to our own benefit to
be more involved with our kids.

I prefer not to engage in humor that
stereotypes others, and I do not particularly
care for it, either when my gender is being
made fun of, or when any kind of person
is being made fun of.
We men die off soon enough,
either because the women are the stronger
(probably true) or because we wear out sooner,
(because until recently we have easily
assumed more of the burden of
takin gon the world
and bringing home the bacon,)
or because, (can you see
the predominance of women
in nursing homes and retirement villages?
Know what that prevalence
of the women outlasting men
in life means?
aha! that is clear
unmistakeable proof) of
who is driving who
crazy sooner in life. :-)

Did you hear the one about the woman who. . . .
You haven;t?
No, I refuse to tell it.

Cynics and critics
wake us up
Comfort hides from the truth
and allows us to sleep on
in our ignorance.
–anon.
So what if every one of you women
are peculiar in your femaleness?
Is that not lovable also?
Life and Grace summons us
to welcome the stranger, even
in their otherness from us,
because, from Abraham on,
that generous hospitality is the gateway
to blessing.

Discussion?
Namaste
Paschal